Admiration — the aim-up feeling

(Tertiary emotion)

At a glance

What it’s saying: “That’s good work — learn from it.”
What it wants: Notice the skill or character, copy a move, and give credit.
Use it well: Turn praise into practice; ask for one tip; thank the person.
Watch-outs: Idol worship, parasocial “stan” habits, copying the brand not the substance, feeling small instead of inspired.
Time focus: Present

What admiration is

Admiration is the warm lift you feel watching someone do something well — a nurse running a clean code, a tradie’s perfect finish, a mate staying kind under pressure, a kid nailing the tricky bar. It’s close to inspiration, but with more focus: not “anything is possible,” rather “that is possible — here’s how.” Sometimes it’s moral admiration (someone does the decent, costly thing); sometimes craft admiration (excellence built from reps).

It’s not envy (sting that says “I want what they have”), not infatuation (romance/obsession), not awe (vastness that hushes you), and not gratitude (thank-you for help). Admiration is the aim-up signal: learn, lift, give credit.

Biogenic lens

Primary domain: Self-Production.

In the triad: Admiration mainly supports Self-Production — it refuels effort by showing a doable path and making practice feel worthwhile. It also strengthens Self-Organisation by raising shared standards and bonding people through honest praise, and it helps Self-Correction by highlighting copyable steps and clean feedback loops.

What it’s optimising
Self-Production: A steady, motivating warmth: posture lifts, you want to try. Store it as fuel — five minutes of practice now beats scrolling their highlight reel.
Self-Organisation: Naming specific excellence (“clear handover, tight angles, respectful tone”) sets norms the group can keep. Admiration spoken out loud is social glue.
Self-Correction: Break the magic into parts — setup, reps, review. Copy one step, ask for one pointer, add one guardrail. Admiration becomes a learning plan, not a poster.

How it feels in the body

Open chest, half-smile, a lean-in urge, calmer breath, little fizz of “have a go.” Often you want to clap, text a mate, or try a tiny version straight away.

Common triggers & what they’re really about

Craft & mastery: clean surf line, tight joinery, crisp prose → need for reps and feedback.
Moral backbone: speaking up kindly, owning mistakes, steady under fire → need to practise courage with boundaries.
Grit & recovery: rehab done properly, study with kids underfoot → need for realistic routines.
Care & leadership: calm handovers, giving credit, mentoring juniors → need for fair habits that lift others.
Everyday decency: the bus driver who waits, the teen who helps a stranger → need to copy simple pro-social moves.

Look-alikes (so you don’t treat the wrong thing)

Envy: sting and shrink; turn it into one copyable step.
Awe: big-sky wow; great, but less copyable.
Hero worship: blind spots and borrowed opinions — risky.
Crush/infatuation: romance energy; different lane.
Gratitude: thank-you for help; can sit alongside admiration.

How people have explained admiration (very briefly)

Two handy ideas: social learning (we improve by watching and copying) and moral elevation (witnessing virtue nudges us to be better). The takeaway isn’t theory; it’s a move: name the ingredient → copy one behaviour → give credit.

A clip that shows it well

Hidden Figures — Katherine Johnson calmly, brilliantly solving the re-entry numbers and insisting on a seat at the table. Craft + courage, and plenty to copy: prep, clarity, respectful spine.

Try this when admiration stirs

The 60-second “copy a move”

Name the ingredient: skill, prep, courage, care, consistency?
Pick one copyable behaviour: a checklist, an opener, a drill, a line you can use today.
Say thanks (if you can): a quick message naming the specific thing you admired.

The 10-minute debrief page

What impressed me (specific): ___
Under the hood (setup/reps/feedback I noticed): ___
One thing I’ll do in the next 24 hours: ___
One question I’ll ask them (or Google): ___
A guardrail against cosplay (copy substance, not brand): ___

The daily rep (aim up, small)

Five-minute drill on the skill you admired.
One “credit out loud” at work/home (name someone’s exact behaviour).
One ‘ask’ a week: request a tip, template or 10-minute shadow.

Using admiration without making a mess

With yourself

Copy process, not persona. Keep your voice and values.
Don’t let admiration become self-shrink. If praise for others makes you small, set two tiny reps you’ll do today.
Rotate role models: a spread stops blind spots.

With family and friends

Praise effort and choices, not “talent.” Kids repeat what you name.
Share stories of local heroes — nurses, ambos, volunteers — not just celebrities.
Turn “that was amazing” into “show me how you did that?”

At work

Build a credit ladder: who taught whom; who carried which bit.
Run brown-bag show-and-tells where people demo how, not just ta-da.
Shadow for an hour; write two copyable steps and one thank-you.

In the community

Admire up close: local sport, choirs, men’s sheds, community arts.
When you’re admired, give the map — share steps and pitfalls so others can climb.

Myths to retire

“Admiration is worship.” No — it’s learning with gratitude.
“They’re just gifted.” Most “talent” is reps, coaching, and time.
“Praising others steals my shine.” It lifts the standard and your chances of getting better.
“Realists don’t admire.” Realists admire specifics.

Keep a simple eye on it (two-minute log)

Who/what I admired today: ___
Ingredient I named: ___
One behaviour I copied: ___
Credit I gave: ___
Energy after the step: ↑ / → / ↓

When to worry (and what to do)

You’ve slid into idol worship or a parasocial rabbit hole; life shrinks.
You spend to look the part instead of practising the craft.
You feel worthless beside heroes and stop trying.
A leader you admire uses that status to blur boundaries or control.

If that’s you: prune the feed, set “practice before scroll” rules, talk to a trusted mate or a counsellor, and get back to small, honest reps.

A short story

On nights, Arjun watches Senior Nurse Mel run handover: short, calm, exact, kind. He feels that lift — do it like that. After shift he writes three lines: ingredient (clarity + warmth), copy (three-point structure), ask (“Mel, what do you write down during shift so handover’s clean?”). She shows him her tiny card. A week later he’s using the card, handovers are shorter, patients are safer, and Arjun messages Mel: “Thanks — copying your structure changed my shift.” Admiration turned into practice, then thanks, then better work.

Wrap-up

Admiration is the aim-up feeling. Let it fuel you: name the ingredient, copy one move, and say thanks. Less pedestal, more practice.