Time & Emotions

Why time?
Emotions are quick bits of data. A simple way to use them well is to ask: is this about the past, the present, or the future? The answer points to the right kind of action.

The three clocks

  • Past — looking back to what happened.
    Typical jobs: name a loss or mistake, learn, repair, honour, let go.

  • Present — dealing with what’s here now.
    Typical jobs: protect, set a boundary, clean up, connect, enjoy, pay attention.

  • Future — looking ahead to what might happen.
    Typical jobs: plan, practise, prevent, approach something safely, build hope.

The 10-second test

Ask yourself: “What time is this feeling pointing at?”
Then pick one small move that fits that clock.

  • If Past: say what changed; make a tiny repair or a simple ritual; take one step.

  • If Present: check safety, set a line, or lean in (notice, share, act).

  • If Future: make a short if/then plan; do the smallest step; let the alarm stand down.

Quick map of common emotions

Past-focused

  • Sadness, grief — register loss → rest, rituals, reshape.

  • Guilt, regret — mark an error → apologise, fix, learn.

  • Shame — harsh self-judgment → seek safe people, set boundaries, repair.

  • Pride, gratitude — mark wins and help → name them, keep doing what worked.

  • Resentment, nostalgia, bittersweetness — stuck on then → speak up or honour and move.

Present-focused

  • Fear — protect now → move, then stand down.

  • Anger — boundary now → be clear and proportionate.

  • Disgust — keep it out → clean up or step back.

  • Curiosity, surprise, awe — look again → update your map.

  • Joy, love — life is good here → savour, share, repeat.

  • Loneliness, boredom, frustration — something’s missing or blocked → connect, adjust, or change tack.

Future-focused

  • Anxiety — what-if guard → plan, small approach, stop checking.

  • Hope / anticipation — pull towards good → prepare and persist.

  • Envy — I want that future → turn it into a goal.

  • Jealousy — protect what you value → talk, agree fair rules.

Note on depression: it’s not just an emotion. It’s often past-heavy and future-dim (low energy, stalled plans). If low mood and loss of interest run for two weeks or more, get proper help.

Tips to keep it simple

  • Name it once. “This is anxiety” / “This is sadness.” Names tame.

  • Match the clock. Past → repair/ritual; Present → safety/boundary/engage; Future → plan/step.

  • One step is plenty. Big fixes come from small moves repeated.

  • Don’t overthink the labels. Emotions blend and shift; pick the best-fit and act.

  • People help. Most time-moves are easier with a mate: a call, a walk, a hand with the task.

That’s it: What time is this feeling about, and what’s one fitting step I can take now?